


Chat Box Mayhem

by Runa_Valerie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Chat-based story, F/M, Luna is a gem, M/M, Muggle AU, Tom and Voldemort are seperate, Tom wants to be a lawyer, Trans Character, Voldemort owns the best company, bad spelling and grammar on purpose, fantastic beasts 2 Spoilers!!!!!! Read chapter 4 carefully!!, harry is a tattoo artist, harry is scary, lucius is a dick, people are scared of Harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-06-11 20:28:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15323667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runa_Valerie/pseuds/Runa_Valerie
Summary: GameMaster- reactions to being stabbed by a sword- go.Undesireble_No_1- oh, i’ve been impaled.LadyOfTomes- *chuckling* that ticklesPuddingCup<3- (insert innuendo here)Lord_Voldemort- oh, i appear to be leaking.... odd.Draconious_Black- Really?Lord_Of_Riddles- straight faced deadpanned ‘oh’GameMaster- one, Harry, i expected better from you.GameMaster- two, Luna get your head out of the gutter, you’re the pure one of this group damn it!Undesireable_No_1- don't blame me :/ i the last week watching ‘frozen’ with my nieces. Honestly why i let Dudley talk me into niece sitting is beyond me.Undesirebale_No_1- fine, i fix my answer “it sword of seems like you have a problem with me”. Better?GameMaster- barely -_- i’ve come to expect better from you man, step up your game.





	1. Meet n Greet

This idea is taken from Pettigrace’s “I just wanna have fun and (get rowdy) story for The Flash, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow and The Arrow.  
  
I absolutely adore this series and those that were around for the original Isn’t This Meant to Be Impossible will maybe remember i said i wanted to write this as a side story to that- which i was later convinced not to. But the idea never left my mind so here i go! This is absolutely dedicated to Pettigrace <3 i adore their writing and honestly ever time they update gives me the urge to write too! (hence why i started this like. The moment i finished one of their updates.) for this i'm also going to make Voldemort and Tom separate people. Also credit to RenderedReversed for Harry’s name  
  
Character key-  
Undesireable_No_1 - Harry; 23, tattoo artists, orphan, bisexual  
GameMaster - Ronald; 23, fresh policeman, straight  
LadyOfTomes - Hermione; 24, Librarian, Demisexual  
PuddingCup<3 - Luna; 18, studying zoologist, ace & aro  
Lord_Of_Riddles - Tom; 19, Studying Lawyer, bisexual  
Lord_Voldemort - Marvolo; 27, CEO of a company, pansexual  
Draconious_Black - Draco; 23, training to take over his father’s company, straight & trans

* * *

  
  
_Tom Riddle was added to the chat by PuddingCup <3 _ _  
_ _  
_ **Undesireable_No_1** Luna, sweetie, didn’t we talk about adding people to the chat after the Cho incident?  
  
**PuddingCup <3** Tom’s not like Cho Harry! He’s the one who always helps me get my books  
  
**GameMaster** i'm with Harry Lu, i thought we agreed this chat was going to be for us?  
  
**Tom Riddle** forgive me if i'm intruding, Miss Lovegood said it might be a nice break from studies here. I can leave if i’m only going to cause issues...?  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** No Tom, it’s fine you can stay. It would have been nice if Luna talked to us about it first though  
  
**LadyOfTomes** Welcome to the chat Tom, feel free to change your nickname if you want. I'm Hermione :) it's a pleasure to meet you!  
  
**Tom Riddle** Thank you my Lady, i assure you the pleasure is all mine. Is there anyone else in this chat?  
  
**LadyOfTomes** beside Ronald (GameMaster) there’s Draco (Draconious_Black). But Draco is only here during the nights (he’s rather busy). If there’s anyone you want to add feel free to. But we try to keep our numbers down these days, after ‘the purge’ as we call it :)  
  
**LadyOfTomes** oh! And we don't tolerate discrimination in this chat! So don't go picking any fights. This is a place for a lot of us to chill out. We want to keep it stress free.  
  
**Tom Riddle** ‘the purge’?  
  
**GameMaster** that’s what we call Harry’s banning spree- this chat use to have most of our year from school (and a few others) but a lot of them turned out to be dicks or used this place as a rant space or used it to throw shade at people. It took maybe 6 months for it all to build up to the point where Harry banned nearly _everyone_ . Before that he’d been banning a select few but one girl pushed him over the edge xD  
  
**Tom Riddle** He sounds like he was being reasonable at first- what caused the tipping point?  
  
**GameMaster** His ex spread lies over the chat that Harry cheated on her with Luna (neither of them would even dream of doing such a thing) and Drake (who was equally as unlikely). A lot of the group turned on all three of them (who were never really that popular at school anyway. So a lot of people didn’t really question it). Harry for his part reacted rationally at first. Simply leaving the chat for a few days. Same as Pudding and Drake. But then it spread to the rest of us and Harry kind of... snapped.  
  
**GameMaster** Harry’s a decent bloke and likes to keep a level head. But when he snaps he’s fucking _terrifying_ . Like... you’re standing on a beach and it’s all sunny and nice and then there’s this big shadow and before you know it you’re drowning because Tsunami Harry has hit and you didn’t even get a warning!  
  
**PuddingCup <3** Harry once threatened to shove a cactus so far up Blazies arse he’d be snorting spines for days when he kept bothering me :) he made quite the image in front of the college!  
  
**LadyOfTomes** i remember when he stood up to Snape against Neville- that was beautiful. I normally don't condone that type of things but... well, Snape had it coming really.  
  
**Draconious_Black** he once yelled toe to toe with my father for me.  
  
**GameMaster** wait _what?!_ Why have i never heard of this?!  
  
**Draconious_Black** it was just after we graduated. You remember what was going on then- Potter defended me when Lucius wanted to take me to therapy.  
  
**GameMaster** did Harry win thought?  
  
**Draconious_Black** of course he did, this is Potter we’re talking about.  
  
**GameMaster** true, do any of you remember what he did to Umbitch? _Savage_ . I’m pretty sure she’s still serving time.  
  
**Tom Riddle** Umbitch? You don't happen to be talking about the Dolores Umbridge case do you?  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** if you’re all quite done talking about me. I’m not proud of my temper thank you very much. Though yes they are talking about Umbridge. Nasty bitch that she was.  
  
**Tom Riddle** were you involved in that case? I don't remember the name Harry Potter anywhere.  
  
**Undesireable_No_** *sigh* yeah i was. Let’s just say when i found out what she was doing to the younger kids i put a end to it. Since no teacher seemed to be interested  
  
**LadyOfTomes** ‘younger kids’ he says.  
  
**LadyOfTomes** Umbridge basically tortured Harry (and others). Harry spent 7 months building up solid evidence against her- she didn’t take a chance when the police arrived. But Harry asked that they keep his involvement quiet so that no one would make a fuss. (a constant theme of our school years mind you!!)  
  
**GameMaster** *starts listing off his fingers* Quirrell- serial killer. Removed by Harry. Lockhart- A class Pervert, removed by Harry. Crouch jnr- another serial killer, removed by Harry. Umbridge- Harry.  
  
**GameMaster** 4/6 teachers were removed from the school thanks to Harry :D not that anyone really knows that. (btw, the last 2 teachers were fairly decent. At least not criminal) This isn’t even mentioning that he made a arse in front of the teachers to keep heat off the other students. I can’t tell you how often Harry ended up with detention!  
  
**Tom Riddle** what kind of school did you go to?!  
  
**LadyOfTomes** it was a good school- very prestigious. Hogwarts. But... well, i don't know how those people were able to teach there. I'm just thankful we had Harry there  >..< i looked into their records. Our year was the only one that had issues. Every other teachers were very good (past and present)  
  
**GameMaster** ‘i looked into their records’. Let me warn you Riddle, don't try and hide anything from Herm, she’ll find it.  
  
**Tom Riddle** Good to know.  
  
_Tom Riddle’s nickname was changed to Lord_Of_Riddles_  
  
**LadyOfTomes** oooo. We pair now :D about time someone cashed in on the Lord/Lady pair. Honestly i expected Draco to get there first  
  
**Draconious_Black** as if i’d pair names with you. My jaw still hurts sometimes Granger :/  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** i assure you :) no one is better at Riddles then I, it is only fitting.  
  
**LadyOfTomes** you had it coming Draco- ooo, you should wait until Harry’s off work! He’s good at solving Riddles (without google, unlike a certain someone!)  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** work?  
  
**Draconious_Black** unlike Lovegood, we all have lives- Potter’s a tattoo artist. GM’s a fresh police officer. Lady.T works at the city library and i'm going to take over my father’s company in the next year or two.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** (134958473604.png)  
**  
Undesireable_No_1** Herm, drop off some coffee on your way to work tomorrow? I'm going to crash. I'm wiped out...  
  
**LadyOfTomes** sure thing Harry. Goodnight!  
  
**GameMaster** i can’t believe he finally finished that full-back. Goodwork buddy! Night! (it looks amazing btw)  
  
**Draconious_Black** on that note i need to head off as well. I’ve been putting off paperwork to talk with the new guy... see you (nice work Potter.)  
  
**PuddingCup <3** just because i don't have a job yet :< goodnight Harry <3

* * *

* * *

**_A week later_**  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** do any of you mind if i add my brother to the chat? He’s busy often and likely won’t be around much but it is of my expert opinion that he needs more human contact in his life.  
  
**Undesirable_No_1** sure thing- so long as they’re polite we allow everyone here :)  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** lovely :) i’ll add him as soon as he’s home.  
  
**LadyOfTomes** oh! Your back online Tom, i didn’t get to ask last night. What are you studying for?  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** I’m working on becoming a lawyer.  
  
**Undersirable_No_1** ooo. Nice, we just about have all we need to commit a perfect crime!  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** oh?  
  
**GameMaster** well, Harry’s great at keeping and cleaning area’s. Herm’s good for researching things (and people). I'm a cop. Luna knows a scary amount of information about how to hide bodies (and generally get away with murder). Drake is our money in the bank and now we have you, the lawyer ;)  
  
**GameMaster** basically. Pretty much all we need for the perfect crime.  
  
**Undesirable_No_1** not to mention we have a lot of practice keeping out of public eye. Remember the last year of school...?  
  
**LadyOfTomes** i swear i'm never going camping again :/  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** what happened?  
  
**Undesrieable_No_1** Herm, Ron and I got some nasty attention from a mob... don't even ask me how because i have no idea. All i know is they wanted us dead (i think it had something to do with the teachers i got kicked out of Hogwarts but you can’t hold me to that).  
  
_Lord_Of_Riddles added Marvolo Riddle to the chat_ _  
__  
_**Undesireable_No_1** anyway, the three of us spent the year moving around Britain and Scotland to avoid the people that were hunting us. We spent a good year doing it until we managed to organize a working trap with some police. It was a bad year all around but we got through it.  
  
**GameMaster** I got shot. _Twice_.  
  
**Marvolo Riddle** that wouldn’t happen to be the case where Bellatrix LeStrange was captured once more, wouldn’t it?  
  
**LadyOfTomes** what is with you Riddles and always knowing exactly what case we’re talking about?! Do you guys stalk the police or something? Also Welcome Marvolo  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** since i decided to become a lawyer i’ve been following the biggest cases. For years. Marvolo just so happens to be a sounding board for me so he knows most of them too.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1**...something about that name is familiar. Marvolo Riddle... damn this is going to bother me all night.  
  
**Marvolo Riddle** i own the Slytherin company- perhaps you recognize my name from that?  
  
**GameMaster** wait _what_ _  
__  
_**Undeseriable_No_1** no, i don't really play attention to that... gah, let me think on it. I’ll remember eventually.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** anyway. Yeah that case was the Bellatrix one.  
  
**GameMaster** wait a moment- can we get back to the fact that a _billionaire_ joined our chat?  
  
**LadyOfTomes** Ronald, what do you think Draco is?  
  
**GameMaster** uh... a person who use to be a prick but we’re now friends with for some reason?  
  
**LadyOfTomes** Ron, Draco is the sole child to one of the wealthiest families in Britain- Harry, is inheritor of the Potter fortune, again one of the wealthiest families in Britain and a third of the Black fortune, again _one of the largest fortunes in britain_. We have far more than _one_ billionaire in this chat.  
  
**Undesrieable_No_1** that said most of mine gatherest a heap of interest and makes a constant donation loop to various charities. I haven’t used it like... at all, since i brought my shop.  
  
**GameMaster** you know Potter, a lot of things about you suddenly makes sense.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** you mean the extreme tipping i do? The kickstarter and go-fund-me and patreons i bookmarked? The constant trips to the orphanages?  
  
**GameMaster** i was going to say the fact that your pantry is always stocked but that too i guess.  
  
**LadyOfTomes** -_-”  
  
**Draconious_Black** mood.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** mood. Also FYI i use my own money for my food- the money i make from my shop that doesn’t go towards bills.  
  
**LadyOfTomes** Ron you really need to start paying attention to things- 12 years of knowing Harry and this is the result  
  
**Draconious_Black** makes you question why Harry and I didn’t hit it off straight away instead of Weasley doesn’t it?  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** Drake, buddy. We didn’t hit it off because you reminded me of my cousin.  
  
**Draconious_Black**...fair, i was a shitty kid. Can we blame it all on my father?  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** yeah sure, he certainly fits the criteria to win ‘shitty person of the year award’  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** OH MY GOD  
  
**LadyOfTomes** what??  
  
**GameMaster**???  
  
**Draconious_Black** O.o  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** I KNOW WHERE I KNOW MARVOLO’S NAME FROM  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** forget your dad Drake, _I’m_ the shittiest person of the year.  
  
**Marvolo Riddle** i admit myself curious to how you came to this realization.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** one name- Voldemort. Gods i am a freaking _Idiot_  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** okay now why is that name- ohhhhh, Marvolo remembered something. He had his holy shit face on  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** Harry, share?  
  
**Undsireable_No_1** when i was younger i use to visit an orphanage- it was the only place i never felt in danger because it was home to my one and only friend at the time. But he disappeared one day and i didn’t hear from him again. I totally forgot about him after i went to Hogwarts and everything happened.  
  
**Marvolo Riddle** and that child was me. My father, worthless as he was, came for me one day and never gave me a chance to tell anyone anything. I'm guessing he also told the caretakers to not tell anyone. The less people that knew that the child of a wealthy businessman who was moving up in the world the better. I'm guessing that silence spread to Harry.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** i would get upset that you didn’t remember me either but Harry Potter is a common name so i can’t really get that upset xD  
  
**Marvolo Riddle** though i should have guessed from the Bellatrix case. Only you would have that level of bad luck.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** well. You aren’t _wrong_.  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** this is weird... i’ve never seen Marvolo act like this.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** hmm?  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** Tom?? Marvolo??  
  
_Marvolo Riddle’s Nickname was changed to Lord_Voldemort_ _  
__  
_**Lord_Voldemort** don't mind him Harry.  You mentioned someone called Draco before. That’s a unique name i’ve only heard once before. You wouldn’t happen to be referring to the child of Lucius Malfoy would you?  
  
**GameMaster** *makes cross symbol and turns three times* we don't say that name here!  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** yes, but we also avoid using his name. It’s kind of like a bad luck charm ^^” he’s kind of a major no-no with this group. Similar to breaking a mirror  
  
**LadyOfTomes** he’s the scum of all scum :/  
  
**PuddingCup <3 **the worst of the worst!  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** what did the old man do?  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** that Tom, is one thing we don't share. Only Draco can really tell that story.  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** if i have my facts right i have a pretty good idea... I’m guessing the man did not accept young Draco’s life?

**Draconious_Black** In short. 

**Draconious_Black** he’s told me a lot about you, even though you refuse to do business with him he finds you highly respectable. It’s a pleasure to meet you.  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** likewise, though i have to say. Perhaps once you take over his company we shall do business. But i refused to work with a man like Lucious. It’s a moral thing.  
  
**Underireable_No_1** Voldemort with morals, someone best call an ambulance for madam Coal ;) i think she just had a heart attack  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** oh my, such a tragic loss.  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** what are you up to these days Harry? You said something about a shop before?  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** i'm a tattoo artist, nothing as fancy as being a CEO but i like it :P  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** hmm, well you always did like to leave your mark on people.  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** *whispers* what the hell is going on.  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** finish your studies for tonight Tom, dinner will be soon.  
  
**GameMaster** wait, why wouldn’t you just tell him that irl? Wasn’t he near you before  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** distance. I moved to my study some time ago and Tom _should_ be in his room going over his class material  
  
**GameMaster** -.- dang rich people  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** trust me, i'm not the worst rich man out there. Like Harry i don't use most of my fortune. Allowing it to gather interest and donate to various places in a recycling loop.  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** we don't even live anywhere fancy. When father passed we sold his estate and moved to an apartment in london. We have what we need to live and that’s about it.  
  
**GameMaster** hmm  >..>  
  
**LadyOfTomes** Ronald, ease off. The Slytherin company is by far one of the top places to work- they’re the leading power on human rights. Paying their workers high above minimum wage and having some of the best working conditions. If anyone deserves to have a little extra i’d say it’s Mr Riddle. Also employing more than strictly needed yet no worker suffers or is unable to provide even with the shorter shifts.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** you always were one for fairness :)  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** i figured, if i ever encountered you again Harry, you’d get rather annoying about working conditions. If there’s nothing to complain about there’s nothing for you to get on my case about.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** :D so *i'm* the reason the Slytherin Company is so good...?  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** you’re constant lectures have left me permanently traumatized. I can’t so much as twitch towards a bad moral choice before a mental, 5 year old, Harry Potter is lecturing me on the rights of humans.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** i can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not...  
  
**GameMaster** he’s not

**LadyOfTomes** he’s not  
  
**Draconious_Black** i assure you he’s being serious  
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** you really have a way of making people listen to you Harry :)  
  
**LadyOfTomes** you can be really convincing Harry, and failing that... horribly scary.  
  
**PuddingCup <3 **Blaize has completely reformed since you laid into him :3 i hear he’s holding down a stable job now and is extremely polite to the women he comes in contact with

**Draconious_Black** my father is still reluctant to go anywhere near the world ‘therapy’. And still flinches when he uses my old name.  
  
**LadyOfTomes** but trying to imagine a five year old harry lecturing someone... it's just to cute!  
  
**Lord_Voldemort  
**   _  
_ _  
_ **LadyOfTomes** :O OMG he’s so cute  <3 <3 <3  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** O.O MARVOLO!  
  
**Draconious_Black** damn... to think there was a time when those glasses were actually cute... i’m impressed.  
  
**Undeisrebale_No_1 >////< ** **  
** **  
** **PuddingCup <3 ** that’s adorable Harry <3 to think, fate brought you both together again :3 it's so sweet.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** how do you even have that...? I don't remember either of us having access to photos  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** there was a week where we had a volunteer caregiver. She took a lot of photos of us all. A few years ago i hunter her down and got that one. Since you were there only as a guest she only had one of you though  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** because that’s not creepy at all Brother.  
  
**Undeisreable_No_1** i don't remember... :/  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** you probably blocked it out. It wasn’t a pleasant week for you, as far as i remember the first time you saw her you screamed and hid in my room.  
  
**Undersireable_No_1** -.-”  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** i don't blame you, many of the younger children burst into tears on sight. She only managed to get that picture of you because you were distracted, you didn’t even see her.  
  
**Undersireable_No_1** -_-”  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** her name is Rita Sketta if you’re trying to remember her.  
  
**GameMaster** *spits out tea*  
  
**Draconious_Black** for real...? Hahahahahaha oh my great ancestors! That’s hilarious!!  
  
**LadyOfTomes** oh my...  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** ahhhhh noooo, nope, nope nope nope. I no longer care i refuse i reject this memory and all others. Nope. don't care. I'm done. I'm going to bed. I have to be up early tomorrow to fill out orders. I am sleeping and never thinking of this night again. Goodnight.  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** (inserts picture)  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** look at the poor confused man. Barely even a few hours and i’ve seen more emotions form him then i have in the past years. Ah this was a good choice, Luna you are a angel  <3  
  
**LadyOfTomes** Don’t take Harry’s retreat personally Marvolo :) Harry had some... bad, experiences with Miss Sketta during our school years... it really is a small world huh?  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** (inserts picture)

* * *

* * *

  
**GameMaster** reactions to being stabbed by a sword- go.  
  
**Undesireble_No_1** oh, i’ve been impaled. **  
****  
****LadyOfTomes** *chuckling* that tickles **  
****  
****PuddingCup <3 **(insert innuendo here) **  
****  
****Lord_Voldemort** oh, i appear to be leaking.... odd. **  
****  
****Draconious_Black** Really? **  
****  
****Lord_Of_Riddles** straight faced deadpanned ‘oh’  
  
**GameMaster** one, Harry, i expected better from you.  
  
**GameMaster** two, Luna get your head out of the gutter, you’re the pure one of this group damn it!  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** don't blame me :/ i the last week watching ‘frozen’ with my nieces. Honestly why i let Dudley talk me into niece sitting is beyond me.  
  
**Undesirebale_No_1** fine, i fix my answer “it sword of seems like you have a problem with me”. Better?  
  
**GameMaster** barely -_- i’ve come to expect better from you man, step up your game.  
  
**LadyOfTomes** anyone else interested with the Riddle’s replies? I feel like they’d be the most interest to stab now tbh  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** it certainly would be interesting, for me, not you, i will likely be very painful for you.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** yeah, agreed. Don’t try and stab Volde Herm, he’s payback is 10 fold what he received.  
  
**GameMaster** O.o  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** a boy named Billy once killed my pet snake and put it in a wrapped box and gave it to Harry as a ‘gift’ from me. I hung his rabbit by the rafters.  
  
**Undersireable_No_1** yeah... you were kinda crazy back then Volde.  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** i blame stress and living conditions.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** but you behave now right...?  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** i have to, the public watches me too much to misbehave.  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** wait you did WHAT?  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** reread it. I'm not repeating it.  
  
**GameMaster** that’s kinda heavy... but for real what kind of kid gives another kid a dead snake and says its from his friend? That’s dark man.... Darker than hanging a rabbit. Barely.  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** honestly, it's a mystery how Marvolo even did it. Like, the orphanage had HIGH rafters. There’s no logical way he could have gotten up there.  
  
**Lord_Voldemort** It’s amazing what you can do with a slingshot and some time.  
  
**Draconious_Black** no one let Luna near this convo.  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** don’t worry i have her distracted. Just talk enough that she won’t wanna scroll back up.  
  
**GameMaster**...

**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**GameMaster** ...  
  
**LadyOfTomes** JESUS CHRIST RONALD STOP  
  
**Undesireable_No_1** @.@  
  
(LINEBREAK)  
  
And THAT. is chapter one!! Yay. updates for this story will be few and far in-betweenn. Warning you now. This is purely just to let off steam in between trying to get chapters done. *bows* thank you for reading and see ya next time.


	2. why is this train not running on track?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the train track i laid out for this story  
> ==========================  
> ==========================
> 
> kindly notice the extreme lack of train.
> 
> yeah, i don't know where it is anymore. if anyone finds it please tell me :)

**Draconious_Black** anyone seen Potter around? He hasn’t been online in a few days.   
  
**GameMaster** *shrugs*   
  
**Lady_Of_Tomes** his shops been closed whenever i go past.    
  
**Lord_Voldemort** I’ve heard nothing from him.   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** you guys really need to pay attention to the news... also i’ve seen Harry.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** the news?   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** His parents are in town -_-”   
  
**Draconious_Black** _ wait what _   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** they got in a few days ago. Harry’s been playing perfect child for them.    
  
**Lord_Voldemort** I thought his parents died in a car accident?   
  
**GameMaster** that’s what his relatives told him- but the truth is the Potter’s didn’t want to raise him... they showed up when he was 15 and told him the truth. Since then Harry has played the part of their child only when it’s convenient to them.   
  
**Draconious_Black** my father is a dick, no denying it, but Harry’s parents are a lot worse. Whenever they need a child to say ‘oh we’re a perfectly happy family’ they pick him up and use him. When they don’t they just kick him out of where ever they are and Harry has to get back my himself.   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** i managed to talk with Harry last night when they came to talk to my dad. There’s a party tomorrow night then after that they’re going back to America (without Harry).   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** what kind of Party? I admit myself curious as to meeting Harry’s parents...   
  
**Draconious_Black** i didn’t realize they’d be attending... tck, Potter should have told me. And just your normal meet and greet of the rich. I can see if i can get you an invitation?   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** that would be lovely, I haven’t had the chance to see Harry again yet. It would be a shame to pass up this chance.   
  
**Draconious_Black** I’ll talk with Mother about it, chances are you’ll have to brush fingers with my father but beyond that you should have freedom there. Weasley will you be coming?   
  
**GameMaster** No, Dad’s taking Ginny. I didn’t think Harry would be going to i passed on my chance. You know i hate that atmosphere.   
  
**Draconious_Black** from what i heard from mum the Potter’s weren’t going to come, but then some rich guy from one of their circles RSVP’ed and suddenly there were all ‘let us in! Let us in!’   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** didn’t you just say you didn’t think they were attending?   
  
**Draconious_Black** i just asked mum while i was getting your invite -_-’ i’m functional outside of this chat you know   
  
**GameMaster** that aside that means they’re really using Harry again...?   
  
**Draconious_Black** seems like. The Grave’s are family people. In the past they’ve adopted whole orphanages (or so the rumors say).   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** i wonder if i can ruin the Potter’s without causing a mess for Harry...   
  
**Draconious_Black** Probably not. When the Potter’s have a bad week they cut Harry out of the interest he uses to help people and the carities. Makes them feel like they have some kind of control? My Father did the same a few years ago.    
  
**Lord_Voldemort** I see...    
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** mysterious and tragic accident would be no good Marvolo   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** there’s a few public cases of when Harry tried to break out of the Potter’s hold. And Harry’s got a messy record. People would think Harry did it.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** tch   
  
**GameMaster** _ tch?!  _ What do you mean  _ tch?!  _ Don’t tell me your were seriously considering that?!   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** While i'm sure you’re close to Harry you don’t know what he was like when he was little... 5 years old, advanced far beyond his years but 5 nonetheless  _ and the Dursley’s made him do 80% of the house work. _ I don't care what reason’s his biological donors had. He should have never gone to those people.    
  
**Lord_Voldemort** not only that but they come back years later just to use him to further their own standing? They were on thin fucking ice already. No matter how much i’ve matured since the rabbit incident i have my limits.   
  
**GameMaster** _ incident?  _   
  
**Draconious_Black** If you plan on making a scene at the party i’ll support you.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** Lovely. I know just what i want to do.   
  
**Draconious_Black** for the record they’ll be other people that support Harry over James and Lily too. Sirius Black, my mother, Arilisa Frye is known to stand back more often than not but she’s also stood up for Harry if things turn dangerous. Andromeda Tonks, Dora Tonks, the Weasley’s. People will stand on Harry’s side over the Potter’s.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** _ even better  _   
  


* * *

  
  
**Draconious_Black** (Video)   
  
**GameMaster** oh my god.   
  
**Draconious_Black** I know right? I think Lily almost had a heart attack!   
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** Holy hell.   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** <3 <3 so sweet~   
  
**GameMaster** how were you able to record that Drake?   
  
**Draconious_Black** I didn’t, Sirius did, Marvolo gathered us all (minus Harry) half an hour before and told us what he was going to do... i, spent the next hour in shock.   
  
**GameMaster** that explains the muffled laughter actually.   
  
**GameMaster** tbh i'm in shock rn.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** Oh.My.Gods. Harry accepted that?! For real?!   
  
**Draconious_Black** I don’t know? He said yes publicly. But they both disappeared afterwards so they may have talked it over and stuff? I think it was mostly to shock the Potter’s. I don’t know what they’re planning in the long run. The press is already going batshit crazy.   
  
**GameMaster** that or they boned.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** Ronald!   
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** i actually agree with Weasley, Marvolo has never taken a lover beforehand and showed no interest of. And the only pictures he has around are of our mothers, myself, himself and that one of Harry.   
  
**GameMaster** and even if he didn’t notice it Harry was never very instreaded in his own partners... I'm pretty sure that’s why Cho said he was cheating, because he honestly only showed surface interest in her. And i'm pretty sure that actually falls to me and Herm making him lonely. And his on-off with Theodore was just... sad.    
  
**LadyOfTomes** thinking of him has anyone heard from Theodore?   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** i talk with him on occasion~ he’s doing well.   
  
**Draconious_Black** he’s focusing on taking over his father’s company right now. But he’s well, he’s dating Susan right now.   
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** _ back on topic.  _ This means that Harry and Marvolo may, in fact, be engaged.   
  
_ Undesireable_No_1’s nickname was changed to Desired_By_1  _   
  
**LadyOfTomes** well... if that’s not confirmation i don’t know what is.   
  
**GameMaster** _ and they were engaged _ _   
_ _   
_ **PuddingCup** _ oh my god they were engaged _ _   
_ _   
_ **Draconious_Black** get that disgusting meme culture out of this sweet moment you monsters   
  
**GameMaster** I love how we all assume this is a totally sweet union and Harry absoultely hasn’t been presured into this   
  
**LadyOfTomes** O.o someone presure Harry? What the hell kind of reality are you sitting in Ronald?   
  
**Draconious_Black** honestly i doubt even the Potter’s could pressure Harry into doing something he truly didn’t want to. Which means, even in the face of the press and Marvolo’s name, he has willingly agreed to this.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** I would never pressure Harry into this. He knew when i asked he could say no. the question itself was enough to knock the donors off center.   
  
**Desired_By_1** I just want to say. Draco, thank you for inviting Marvolo. Also- i have never seen James so close to popping a vein and i am honestly the happiest i have been in years.    
  
**Lord_Voldemort** next time you’re donors pop up, tell me. We’ll see if we can get a similar reaction :)   
  
**Desired_By_1** <3   
  
**GameMaster** that seems pretty sweet on the surface but if we look close Marvolo totally wants James and Lily to drop dead from shock...   
  
**Draconious_Black** like we all haven’t wanted the same at some point in the past.   
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** Soooo.... This is sweet and all. Really. But when do i get to actually  __ meet my brother in law?   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** come home and you can meet him.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** Harry. Tomorrow. Dinner, you, me, Ronald.   
  
**Desired_By_1** Yes ma’am o7.   


* * *

  
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** somehow... i am let down.   
  
**GameMaster** ?   
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** i came home almost expecting the two of them to be... closer. Yet they were just sitting drinking tea.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** -_- they just meet again, physically, after being apart for years. They aren’t going to jump into a physical relationship right off the bat.   
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** _ I know that!  _ Logically at least...   
  
**Desired_By_1** is my love life all we talk about in this chat?   
  
**GameMaster** we talked about horses last sunday.   
  
**Desired_By_1** -_-   
  
**Desired_by_1** for the god damn record. Despite our engagement Marvolo and I are going to take things slow. We have no intention of ruining our relationship because we moved to fast.   
  
**GameMaster** ewwwww. Logic. Get it away, get it away.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** well, i’m glad your going into this in a mature mindset Harry :)   
  
**Desired_By_1** less that more  i don't want to repeat you and Ron, sorry Herm.    
  
**LadyOfTomes** i'm  _ glad _ you’re not going to repeat us.   
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** oh?? What’s this??   
  
**GameMaster** oh, Herm and I use to be engaged too :)   
  
**LadyOfTomes** but we realized a romantic relationship wasn’t sure us and we’d rushed into things during the year that shall not be mentioned.    
  
**GameMaster** so we broke it off, and kinda feel back into the relationship we had before hormones and isolation got involved   
  
**LadyOfTomes** also known as friends :)   
  
**Draconious_Black** doesn’t stop them from creepily finishing each others words though...    
  
**Desired_By_1** it’s cute though :3 but i'm glad none of us ended up honestly dating one another. That’s just be weird.   
  
**GameMaster** yeah- one of us would be the third wheel no matter what way we threw it.   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** unless you became a poly.   
  
**Desired_By_1** I... no.   
  
**GameMaster** yeah... no.   
  
**Desired_By_1** Pan as i may be, I don’t think i could be with either Herm and Ron like that... that’d be like being with your sibling for me.   
  
**GameMaster** ditto. Plus, you know, i'm  _ straight _   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** you’re no fun~ i think the three of you would make a great couple.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** yes. And Neville would be a great dare-devil...   
  
**Draconious_Black** ooooooooooo. Hermione Granger coming in like a fucking tree to shade Luna.   
  
**Desired_By_1** hello Blaise.   
  
**Draconious_Black** ...Harry.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** Love?   
  
**Desired_By_1** Don’t worry about it. Blaise and I just don’t get along.   
  
**GameMaster** He’s improved lately though.    
  
**Desired_By_1** and i'm being civil, no?   
  
**GameMaster** tru   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** Harry, there’s a coffee shop a little way from my main company building. Join me?   
  
**Desired_By_1** can’t :< sorry. I have to get back to the shop in 20 minutes. One of my staff called in sick.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** ... i see, then perhaps i can go there?   
  
**Desired_By_1** sure :) oh~ can you pick me up a red velvet cupcake? <3   
  
**Draconious_Black** dear gods the press wasn’t making that engagement up.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** nope~   
  
**GameMaster** i think that was the sweetest thing i have ever read and I’ve read Luna’s stories.    
  
**Draconious_Black** I think i might develop a cavity...   
  
**GameMaster** if that ain’t the mood of this chat today i don't know was is.   
  


* * *

  
  
**Okay.** so here’s the fucking deal. This was meant to be a SLOW BURN between Harry and Marvolo with the group shipping them in the background as they progressively got sweeter with one another. AND FUCKING THEN. they got engaged while i was zone writing. Just. bam. I honestly don't know what happened. But my zone writing is generally some of my best work so i'm reluctant to remove it? So i'm just flowing with it. We’ll see what happens.   
  
Also, yeah, Herm and Ron got together but broke up. Ta-da? If you can’t tell i really don't like their relationship in canon, but i don't ship any of the gold trio together anyway so here we go. Honestly if i had to put Hermione with a Weasley i’d put her with one of the twins. I think i read somewhere JK was rolling that way too? Idk.    
  
Anyway, time to post~    
  
Oh! And i'm up to chapter 4 of Impossible for those that are waiting for it~ (i keep getting distracted by new idea’s I'M SORRY!!!)


	3. Floff and Venom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna has a question and Marvolo still wants to see the world burn.

**PuddingCup <3 ** I have a question.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** what’s up Luna?   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** If Harry and Marvolo were to get married. Who would take who’s name?   
  
**Desired_by_1** oh my  _ god _ why is that relevant?   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** are you or are you not engaged? Don't ruin this for me Potter i have been planning your wedding for years!   
  
**Desired_by_1** i’ve been engaged for TWO WEEKS?!   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** he would take my name of course. The Potter family doesn’t deserve him.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** also, feel free to share to plans Miss Lovegood. I’d very much love to have input.   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** of course! I was thinking lavender and white for the colours. Harry looks darling in purples and blues :3   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** i will keep that in mind.    
  
**Desired_by_1** please do not encourage her Marvolo   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** i need no encouragement. I already have 6 folders. 9 pinterest pages. 8 word documents. A spreadsheet. And a invitations lists, and seating arrangements.   
  
**Desired_By_1** _ Why?! _   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** because you can’t plan for your life. We all know it. Because you life has been on the line and still you wing things. _ YOU WILL NOT WING YOUR WEDDING HARRY POTTER _   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** SO HELP ME I WILL MAKE THIS DAY PERFECT FOR YOU.   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** you too of course Marvolo.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** your efforts are appreciated Miss Lovegood.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** Perhaps Luna you should let them get past the first date?   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** we are long past the first date Miss Granger.   
  
**LadyOfTomes** it’s been two weeks??   
  
**Desired_By_1** he’s taken me on two dates already. One was to a lovely art gallery and one was to dinner. Plus all our coffee days. And the movie last weekend   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** we went and saw Venom. A bit late to the party but someone also owns his own tattoo parlor so...   
  
**Desired_By_1** we’re going to see Fantastic Beasts two in a few days if any of you want to join us!   
  
**PuddingCup <3 ** oh! I was to see that! My friends cousin is one of the leads   
  
**LadyOfTomes** i wouldn’t mind seeing it either... I  _ have _ been following the franchise   
  
**Desired_By_1** that’s her way of saying she’s a fan girl. She’s loved that fandom since we found out we all share names with characters.    
  
**Lord_Voldemort** yes, i am well aware of its similarities to us. Even your parents names match... it’s what drew me to it in the first place, i thought may you’d become a writer.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** then of course i found out i was the villian and burnt the book instantly. But i have kept up to date.   
  
**Desired_By_1** D: what if i had written it?! Would you still have burnt it.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** the idea is absurd. You’d never made me the villain in your story.   
  
**Desired_By_1** :< you’re mean. I could   
  


**PuddingCup <3 ** eyes   
  
**Desired_By_1** okay fine i wouldn’t but still! You shouldn’t burn books!!   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** But Darling, it’s so fun watching worlds burn :( i can’t take over the world, i can destroy make believe worlds... you’re so cruel.   
  
**Desired_By_1** eyes.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** something you want to say my Love?   
  
**Desired_By_1** get me a coffee and we’ll talk about your world burning tendencies.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo, i know this story was ment to be different... with regular updates... but i can explain.
> 
> *gestures to the story tree* IT.WONT.STOP.GROWING.
> 
> also i was on holiday for two weeks, also i made an Instagram- come find me as Tasha_Winters for more regular updates then that hell site Tumblr!!


	4. Always.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry reallllllllllllllly wants to live in Newt Scamander's basement

**Desired_By_1** here’s something i thought i’d never say about a anyones basement   
  
**Desired_By_1** i want to be in Newt Scamander’s Basement   
  
**Desired_By_1** holy fuck. That movie was amazing. The whole movie, Gellert had me half convinced in his speech. BUT THAT KELPIE. I want it, as a pet. And i want that basement. AND THE NIFFLERS OH MY GOSH   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** It won’t be magical but i suppose we can invest in a... what would Tumblr call it, a fandom cave?   
  
**Desired_By_1** <3   
  
**GameMaster** wait wait, Marvolo knows what Tumblr is??????   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** one of my workers has a daughter that is on it constantly using company wifi. I was curious.   
  
**Desired_By_1** Marvolo likes knowing everything and anything. Even that hell site.   
  
**GameMaster** next thing you’ll tell me is the man has a bloody instagram...   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** I do? The more public presence i have the easier it is to persuade other companies to work with me. Keeping a constant and polite online presence is very good for my company.   
  
**Desired_By_1** i wonder if Headmaster Dumbledore has a secret brother no one knows about...   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** back on this again? Harry, love, just because we all share name with characters does not mean that each family tree is identical.   
  
**Desired_By_1** but think about it! If Dumbledore DOES or DOESN’T have a secret brother that means we can, maybe, get a hint into Gellert’s future moves!!   
  
**LadyOfTomes** Harry, you’re forgetting that in OUR life Headmaster Dumbledore and he are MARRIED.   
  
**Desired_By_1** :<   
  
**Lord_Of_Riddles** you have to admit though. The fact that we share names, and characteristics, and  _ looks _ , with these movies/books is unsettling...    
  
**LadyOfTomes** tell me about it. Well, except me, they stuffed up  _ my _ movie look.    
  
**LadyOfTomes** sent a picture   
  
**LadyOfTomes** DOES THIS LOOK WHITE TO YOU?!   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** also the relationship between ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Ginevra Weasley’   
  
**Desired_By_1** Don’t worry Marvolo i have no plans on cheating on you.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** it’s more the idea that you’d begin a relationship with a woman looking very much like your mother while you look so much like your father. But the thought is nice my Love.   
  
**GameMaster** not only that but Harry, mate, you’re my brother, forever. But don't marry my sister to make it real yeah?   
  
**Desired_By_1** does that mean the brothers are on the table...?   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** :/   
  
**Desired_By_1** i'm kidding my dear, i would never. You know you’re the only one for me.   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** Past, Present, future?   
  
**Desired_By_1** always.   
  
**GameMaster** _ Severus Snape shuddered in the distance _ **  
****  
****Desired_By_1** OH MY GOD RONALD   
  
**GameMaster** you said it not me!   
  
**Desired_By_1** ughhhhhhhhhhhh kill meeeeee   
  
**Lord_Voldemort** only after the wedding my Love.    
  
**Desired_By_1** :’(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I update two days in a row does that mean I'm forgiven for 3 months of nothing?? does?? :3


End file.
